“Who are you and why do I follow you?”

I ask myself as I scroll through Instagram for the 50th time today. A bad habit, I know, but that's a topic for another day.

This is a conversation I've had with myself a lot recently.

During Covid lockdowns I spent FAR too much of my life on social media and I followed a ton of people. I didn't consciously realize it but I went from intentionally following 1,000 people to following 1,300 people. Now this may not seem a lot in comparison to how many people other people follow, but that's 300 extra voices that I was suddenly letting into my day to day life.

These are the voices I am allowing to speak to me, influence me and that I'm watching unfold and subconsciously comparing myself to. That's kind of a big deal if you think about it.

Around September during all of the political drama I start to notice myself getting VERY annoyed with social media. Every time I got on I could feel myself getting angry and my blood bubbling up over all of the things I was hearing and seeing.

Then I got on Instagram today and I said to myself when I came across a very disrespectful post that directly insulted my belief system

It stopped me dead in my tracks and I immediately unfollowed that person. Not because I don't believe in hearing other people's point of view but because I am trying to protect my energy, my space and who and what I allow into my circle right now. I am a busy woman with many responsibilities and a lot coming at me from all directions. I don't have time to be upset or feel judged every time I go on social media.

In that moment, although I already knew this, it hit me that I control what I see on social media. I curate my page by who I follow. I get to decide what comes in an out of my space everyday.

At that very second I decided to let go of all my emotional fears and worries about hurting someone's feelings by unfollowing them or losing followers myself for unfollowing people and I went for it.

As I scrolled I was incredibly conscious of those who I am following.

I read captions, paid attention to the tone of those speaking to me and if it didn't meet my criteria I unfollowed and went on my day. I cringed the first few times but eventually I got to where I could do that without batting an eye.

So what's my criteria?

This will be different for every person but the basic principles apply across the board.

Does this account bring me joy?

No?

Do I get angry, roll my eyes or think “oh what do they have to say today?” when I see their face or handle?

Yes?

Is this account rooted in truth?

No?

Does this account put others down, especially when they don't agree with their views?

Yes?

Does this account add something positive to my life? No? Bye.

Does this account make me compare myself?

Yes?

Does this account push me to question my beliefs & seek further education or simply put them down?

The latter?

Whether or not some like to hear this, you can continue to learn and be educated without being put down, attacked or made to feel guilty. You're actually not going to learn very much if you're constantly feeling like you can't get it right or like you're never going to catch up.

Choose to follow accounts that will encourage you in your passions, in your self image and in your education. Choose to follow life giving and loving people who are genuinely going to improve your life. I promise you that you will feel a lot less drained after spending time on social media and you may actually find yourself having productive conversations that empower, encourage and enrich your life.

I challenge you, next time you're on social media starting asking yourself “who are you and why do I follow you?” and then take action and choose to curate YOUR feed to best fit YOUR needs.

xoxo – Ry