My holiday body is not weak, she continues to stand in strength and endurance.

My holiday body is not made sweeter by the treats she eats, but by the people she shares them with.

My holiday body is just as important as my summer body.

My holiday body prioritizes moving and nourishment and rest.

My holiday body is okay after the fun feasts because she knows moderation.

My holiday body desires to continue healing & she knows

that there is more to life than the moment she’s in.

My holiday body listens when she says “I need a break”.

My holiday body does not demean herself for choosing to indulge.

My holiday body is proud when she wakes up and sweats her strength.

My holiday body is safe, enveloped in cozy, restorative rest.

My holiday body fluctuates.

My holiday body is beautiful.

My holiday body is the least interesting thing about the person within her.

I lost 40lbs this year. I lost 50lbs two years before that. I know how hard it is to achieve goals. I know how hard it is to feel a set back. I know how hard it is to want to participate and worry about throwing it all away. I have struggled with disordered eating and binging. I know how much an event can revolve around food and alcohol. I know how easy it is to obsess about what you’re going to wear, how it makes you feel, how you’ll feel after eating and if you’ll be able to stop once you start. Sugar is addictive. Alcohol is addictive. The feeling of being told that you look great is also addictive.

Typically I use the holidays as an excuse to eat and do whatever I’d like to. This poem comes off the line of thinking that I have spent time immersing myself in as I walk into this next holiday season.

What would it look like if I walked into January and felt amazing?

What if I walked into January not feeling guilty or ashamed?

What if I walked into January not feeling bloated and hungover?

What if I walked into January continuing to get stronger instead of feeling like I had to start over?

What if I didn’t binge my kid’s halloween candy?

What if I didn’t eat as much as I possibly could over the weekend of Thanksgiving, simply because I had an excuse?

What if I didn’t choose to drink a holiday drink or have a cookie every time I was at a coffee shop, simply because “it’s Christmas!”

What if I didn’t choose to bake and eat an entire dozen holiday cookies every weekend?

What if I chose to continue on with the healthy habits I’ve established throughout this season?

What if I continued to work out and eat in a nourishing way every day?

What if I chose to participate in holiday events, without guilt, without judgment or shame, eating in moderation?

What if I built my plate around what felt good for my body, rather than in fear or in total gluttony?

What if there was an in-between this holiday season?

I don’t have all of the answers. I don’t even know if I will succeed. But I do invite you to think with me and ask yourself the same questions. How could you make this season less about what you get to eat and more about who you get to spend time with? How could you avoid talking about your body, commenting on other’s bodies and choosing to refocus your mind on more important things?

How could you shift the conversation this year?

How could you shift your mindset?

Could you walk into January feeling refreshed, energized and ready to take on 2024?

I hope so.