As-You-Are Summer
Welcome to the Solidarity podcast,
where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is..
being a woman.
First of all I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has been listening, if you’re not already subscribed be sure to click that subscribe button if you’re listening on Apple or Spotify podcasts. It would also mean the world to me as I’d really love to expand my reach if you’d share today’s episode on social media & tag me or send to a friend who comes to your heart while you listen today. And as always if you’d like to share your own story of how God has worked in your life & if you want women to know they’re not alone in the experience you went through, I would love to have you on the podcast, just reach out!
Okay so I’ve been seeing this post everywhere “fed girl summer”
I’m sure you’ve seen it. And while I understand the point is to make sure you’re not starving yourself or holding yourself to the stereotypical “hot girl summer” standard- I want to provide a slightly different perspective.
Going into this summer I was already struggling with my body. A year ago I started losing weight so I could get pregnant. Within a month of trying I was & so that went out the window with morning sickness and sugary cravings.
I gained 50 pounds.
I’ve not told anyone but my husband that.
50 pounds.
I felt absolutely disgusted with myself. Proud that I provided for my baby, but I was horrified that I let myself get so out of control with my diet and that I justified barely moving and eating ridiculous amounts of sugar because I was pregnant and somehow deserved it.
At the end I was so excited to be able to start working out again & by the end of the 6 week postpartum mark I was so ready.
I got onto a meal plan that I created, I started working out at home and building my ab strength through light workouts and then building as I went along.
6 months postpartum now and I’m just a few pounds shy of my pre-pregnancy weight. Then I have to start on my next goal- the one I originally had last year when I started losing weight. That’s about another 30 pounds.
So why do I tell ya’ll this?
Recently I’ve plateaued and felt very, very discouraged. From what I’ve been told it’s a very normal occurrence and I have to push past it but it’s so discouraging; working hard and seeing little to no reward.
But you know what’s even harder on top of it?
Everywhere I turn I’m being told I’m doing something wrong. To the point where I’m spinning in circles and crying on the couch in defeat because I feel like I just can’t get it right.
One post tells me that I need to stop eating carbs where the next tells me how important they are for me.
The next one shows a girl who I’ll never look like, but desperately want to, because that’s what’s been engrained in me as “goals”.
The next post I scroll by and wonder “wow, I’d love to have a thigh gap. I wonder what it feels like to not be hot and sweaty and chaffed in the summer with blisters from the rubbing. It must be nice.”
And then I scroll and I see a girl posing confidently telling me that if I care about my weight I’m doing something wrong and that I should live and eat however I want- yet I feel like if I told her that I wanted to lose weight, she’d still judge me or tell me I wasn’t being “body positive” enough.
Then I see a post about having a “fed girl summer” and although I want to relate and embrace the pasta and wine and cheese girl summer- I look back and pick up my stomach, where it’s been so stretched out and I can’t help but think that I don’t deserve that. That I owe it to myself to do the hard work.
And all in one it’s right and it’s wrong.
It’s shame but it’s also freedom.
I am allowed to work hard and no amount of pressure from society - either way- has to determine how I treat my body.
But it’s a lot easier to say that and a lot harder to do it and believe it.
I know that my body is a temple, made in God’s image, and I have a responsibility to treat it in a way that honors Him and allows me to operate at my best self for His kingdom and for my family and my community. It means that I owe it to myself to be functioning and healthy.
Romans 12:1-2 says:
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
That for me means that the foods that make me feel terrible, even when they’re some of my favorites- they have to go. An occasional bite may be claimed but if it’s going to make me puffy & stuffy and feel bad, it’s not worth it.
This means cleansing my mind by getting my endorphins going and replacing scrolling on my phone with a workout. Both benefitting my mind, my mood & my appearance.
And that’s not obviously what the verse is saying, but I’m supposed to be offering up my body as a living sacrifice to God, don’t I owe it to Him to be taking the best possible care of it that I can? To be able to show up with strength, and with energy, to serve not only myself but my family, God, my community and everyone that He places in my path. And I can’t do those things if I’m not living in a way that’s going to get me there.
I know it can be discouraging when you’re on your path and you hear someone say something about “hot girl summer” and you feel like wow, I don’t feel hot, maybe one day, but not right now. But then hearing someone say “fed girl summer” makes you feel like you’re also doing something wrong by trying to lose weight & by removing yourself from a state of complacency that you may have been in- it can be very confusing and it can feel like either way you go you’re doing something wrong or making someone mad.
So guess what?
We’re just having show up as you are summer.
Whether this means you’re working hard and doing what you need to do to get healthy & strong (and yes sometimes you do have to cut down on some calories & change your lifestyle to do this & that’s totally okay, that doesn’t mean you’re not being body positive.)
Or if that means you’re already where you want to be & you’re feeling confident as heck in that outfit you’ve been dying to pull out- get it out, great, rock it.
Or maybe you’ve been on the far side of the workout spectrum or you’ve been really depressed or you just feel like chilling; show up too. Just where you’re at. You don’t have to feel guilty about eating a certain amount or not eating a certain amount. Or working out or not working out. We’re not comparing bathing suits. We’re not comparing trips & adventures. We’re just showing up & living and encouraging each other to walk along their own paths.
Trends are fun and all but they’ve got a lot of us feeling like we have to participate in or agree with every movement and that’s just not true. Follow your convictions & show up where you want, as you want, even if it’s not what’s popular at the moment because girl, it is ever changing but staying rooted in who God says you are and showing up as He tells you to & following the path He’s guiding you on- that will never fail you. That will never change.
He stays the same and He knows what’s best for you, your body & your mind and He will help you get to that place if you focus on Him, realign your gratitude and your heart daily and you put in the work He tells you to. Sometimes this means showing up for your community, sometimes it means solitude & sometimes it means focusing on your health. Whatever it is, get into the word, start journaling your gratitude and acknowledging His gifts and start seeking your next step. He’ll show you what to do, He always does. He is faithful.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says:
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
And then I know I share this next verse often but it’s so important to remember when we’re stressing about our next steps- and yes this is just as much a reminder to me as it is to you- Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
I know it’s difficult to trust- don’t even get me started. I’ve had a rough go of this lately- especially when results in so many areas of my life have been crickets. But I know if I get back on track and stay faithful to the end that it will pay off, even if I can’t see the bigger picture right now.
And when it comes to my body, I may not like it because of all the stuff I’m fighting in my mind, but I do love it because God knitted me together and designed me so intricately and with such purpose. I don’t always know what that purpose is and I may not always be able to see the beauty, but when I stay grounded in the Lord I can look past that and see Him in me because I am, as his daughter and one that was created in Him, a reflection of Him and His goodness and that is pretty amazing.
Alright so we’re going to try and treat ourselves with love & respect the summer & we’re showing up in our journeys where we’re at and we’re not discouraging those around us for doing the same, even if it’s not what we think they should be doing! K? We’re having fun this summer all the way from the gym to the pool to the couch to the beach. Living & loving!
Alright well, thank you so much for listening in this week, I encourage you to keep coming back for more encouragement and to find solidarity in our shared experiences. If you’d like to share your own story, I would love to have you on. Just shoot me a message on Instagram - @riley_quin or send me an email- riley@rileyq.com and we’ll talk!
Don’t forget to share this with a woman who you want to encourage today, you can share it on Facebook @solidaritypodcast or Instagram @riley_quin and tag me so we can get the word out on social media and if you’re feeling it, subscribe and leave a review to help get it out to others on the podcast algorithm who need to be shown some solidarity! Thanks again for listening and be sure to check back next Wednesday for a new episode!
As always, I’m so glad you’re here.
You’re wanted, needed and loved.
I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you are enough.