Show Up
Welcome to the Solidarity podcast,
where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is..
being a woman.
My ‘lanta ya’ll, this is the end of season one.
I’m kind of floored to be honest, I didn’t know if I would make it here.
You see, I’ve never been good at finishing things. I’m really good at coming up with ideas and branding and launches and I’ll have a lot of energy going into things, but once I’m going, I often find that about half way through I just fall off a cliff into the oblivion that is where my once-great-ideas go to die.
I’m not exaggerating.
I’ve started at least 4 books.
I’ve started a podcast that ended at 10 episodes.
I’ve had multiple mini careers and pursued so many different paths but when it comes down to it the only things that I’ve been successful in completing have been:
- graduating from high school
- staying in my marriage for 2 years and counting (thank goodness)
- my blog which is over 500 posts in and
- this podcast.
All good accomplishments, although ongoing, but it’s been something that’s been really hard for me, like really hard.
There have been so many times that I’ve wanted to abandon this project because it wasn’t going fast enough. It’s really, really hard to grow in this big ‘ole space with tons of creators. Social media isn’t the tool that it once was unless you have a lot of money to put into it. I’m completely reliant on those who listen to share and it’s hard to convey that without sounding needy and desperate. It’s something I struggle with. So with that being said, thank you so much for listening and for sharing and for being a part of this these last few months, every single one of you means so much to me.
It’s hard to make content and keep showing up when the same 100 people are seeing it. I may have over 10,000 followers on Instagram but the platform is so horrific that my reach is only about 100-500 people. It’s awful and I feel like I’m slamming my head against a brick wall more days than not.
I almost gave up. Back in April I was struggling to continue to create. Thankfully, my husband encouraged me and reminded me that my numbers in the first year or two aren’t going to be what I want them to be and that I’ll never find out if I can succeed if I don’t keep going. I came up with the idea to have mid-season breaks which will help with the lack of energy/wanting to quit thing, but it will give me a date and a new goal to work towards to come back and that’s what I thrive with. It’s a new approach I’ve never taken before and I’m thrilled that it worked. I plan to implement it every season because regardless of what my brain is telling me all the time, I do want this to work.
But I’m having to fight for it y’all. And I’m sharing this because we all encounter the devil when we’re pursuing our dreams. We all come up against lies when we’re walking in the path that God has for us. Because he doesn’t want us to succeed. In fact, he wants us to fail.
Everyday I’m coming up against the lies of:
“You always fail.”
“Nobody likes you.”
“You’re not unique.”
“Nobody cares what you have to say.”
“Stop, you’re annoying people.”“You will never succeed.”
“You always quit because you can’t stick with anything.”
These lies are constantly circling in my head and I’m having to fight it with truth- which is why if I don’t start my day with prayer and time spent in the Bible, I have harder days than normal because I don’t have that foundation to combat all of the lies I’m coming up against.
Although we all have lies whispered in our ears that we’re working against, I think there’s always an underlying theme. Something someone said to us or spoke over us, an untruth, usually said in anger or frustration or out of their own hurt, that sticks with us and we naturally adopt is as part of our identity, even when it’s not. We make decisions based off of that lie and it doesn’t lead us where we ought to go.
I was once told that I needed to stop being a quitter. That if I didn’t pick and stick with something that I was never going to succeed in my career or a relationship, that I would end up divorced if I didn’t kick that habit.
It broke me.
Because I knew that I struggled with those things, but to be told that, it hurts.
I don’t hold that against that person anymore, I’ve forgiven them. Why forgive if it was true though? Because although it may have been true, the way it was said made me attach it to my identity rather than something that could be overcome. It was much less of an encouragement and much more of a threat and an insult hurled in the heat of the moment. It was a fear put onto me that I didn’t need.
And it effected me greatly. For years after that I was so afraid and I let that become my identity. I was convinced that I couldn’t overcome it. I was terrified of walking away from anything that was good for me so I didn’t let myself go too far for fear that I would then walk away, and I held myself back a lot.
It really effected my first year of marriage. I was constantly thinking about all of the ways that I would walk away and how nice it would feel to just give up and “fulfill my destiny” of being a quitter. It was a jumbled up mess of lies that Satan grabbed onto and ran like hell with and not to anyone’s surprise, it caused a lot of havoc. It made me question everything about myself and everyone who loved me all the time. It made me ask questions like “do you love me?” “why?” “are you sure?” “are you going to leave me?” because surely, if I was thinking about all of these things all the time, I must be miserable to live with and they’d leave. It doesn’t actually make that much sense when you verbalize it, but internally it feels very real and it makes life very hard when you’re constantly questioning everything, because you’re not sure which way is up and which way is down.
So why do I tell you all of this?
Because I want you to know that you are not defined by the things that people say about you.
You’re not defined by the choices that you’ve made in the past. Just because you did something once doesn’t mean you’re going to do it again. Just because you made a choice doesn’t meant that’s who you are.
Even if you made a whole lot of similar choices, it doesn’t mean that you can’t change.
And to add to that, your worth isn’t defined by any of it. You are worthy of life and joy and peace and prosperity because of the sacrifice that Jesus made for you. He wiped those lies clean. He wiped those choices away. He said “yeah, we’re not going to do that anymore” and took it away. There is freedom waiting if you’re willing to accept it and believe.
So I’m going to keep going because in Jesus, I know I can do hard things and you can too.
We know our strength comes from God but what does that look like when we’re doing the brave, hard things?
I think it looks like replacing those lies with truth.
For every lie that’s been whispered over you, boldly portray the truth of God back at it.
For every doubt and insecurity that creeps up you hit it with the word of God.
For every person who makes you believe that you’re less than capable, you tap into the strength that God promises to give us when we put our faith in Him.
That’s why it’s so vital to not just read your Bible but to memorize it and know it so that when these situations arise, you can combat it with everything you’ve got and when that runs out, everything that God has and babe, that never runs out.
I’m committed to showing up in this space because I love what happens when God shows up and I want to be a part of it. I feel so called to keep speaking and sharing stories, even if it’s only reaching the ears of few. It is discouraging because with a bigger platform I feel like I could do more, but I am lacking nothing because there is no lack in God, only freedom from the constraints- like lack- that we put ourselves in.
So I’m going to take this in-between season break and I’m going to enjoy the next 2 months and I’m going to live. I’m going to see what God has in store for me and I’m going to experience what He has and journal and write my way through it and I’m going to listen in to see what He has for me to say next season.
I’m going to keep showing up because the beauty of the Internet is that anything could take off any any time so you have to just keep going. I mean even 5-10 years down the line something could take off. So I have to keep showing up. Keep serving.
I’m trusting God with the financial aspect of this because to be completely transparent, it’s not cheap and it makes zero income when I don’t run ads which I don’t have the numbers for yet and I don’t really like running ads for things I don’t actually use and love myself. But that’s a bridge we’ll walk later if it appears.
But I want to encourage you before I sign off for the last time this season with something I heard in a recent workshop from @thegirlnamedblake. She said “No one’s going to show up to a party that hasn’t started.” Hearing that hit me like a ton of bricks and I hope it impacts you too.
What is that dream or idea that’s been on your heart that you’ve been too afraid to go after? First I want you to go back and listen to episode 23 on bravery and then I want you to just start walking. Put the invitation out there. Plan the party and then show up. Show up for that one person, even if it’s your mom.
Love, trust the process and trust God’s calling for your life. He knows who he’s reaching & what he’s doing through you, even if you can’t or never will be able to see it.
Keep being obedient even when it seems like it’s not going anywhere. Trust that if he hasn’t closed the door, it’s not time to walk away yet. Get really in depth in the word, really connected in your prayer life and be intentional about connecting with Him and I promise you won’t miss the signals. He doesn’t play games or try to trick us, it’s not His nature.
And remember that one day it will all be worth it, even if it’s heaven-side; especially if it’s heaven-side. And honestly that reward is so much better than any recognition, platform, money or fame you could ever receive down here.
I can’t wait to hear about all of the ways that you show up for whatever God has in store for you in the coming weeks, months and years. I’m so grateful for this community, however big or small it is. I’d love if you’d reach out and let me know what your favorite episode was this season and I’d love to pray for you if you’re struggling with how you’re supposed to show up next.
Thank you so much for listening in this week and for every week this last season. I’d love if you’d go back and catch up on any episodes you may have missed and then obviously join me back here in September for season two. Follow me on Instagram - @riley_quin to keep up with my break and be the first to hear when I’m coming back. If you’d like to share your own story next season I would love to have you on. Just shoot me a message on Instagram or send me an email- riley@rileyq.com and I’ll get back to you!
It would mean the absolute world to me if you’d share the podcast on Facebook (@solidaritypodcast) or Instagram (@riley_quin) and tag me or if you’d share it personally. It would also be of such an encouragement if you’d leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It would help so much and keep the podcast going during my break. Alright I think that’s everything. I’ll miss ya’ll and I can’t wait to get back to it in the fall!
As always, I’m so glad you’re here.
You’re wanted, needed and loved.
I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you are enough.