Welcome back to the Solidarity podcast

where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is, being a woman.

If you hadn’t heard already, we’re pregnant!

Baby Sandrell will be here this fall, end of September or early October, it’s kind of up in the air.

This has honestly been a really really sweet season.  When we started trying for this baby I knew I was way healthier and so I expected it go a little smoother, which it definitely has, to the point I thought something was wrong because it was going so well, so I don’t take that for granted.  I have had the typical morning sickness, which I didn’t really have as much with Hayden, and I have been really tired but for the most part it’s been going pretty decently.

I had prayed a lot about this pregnancy and I really wanted to approach it differently.  If you haven’t listened to my birth story with Hayden you can go back to season one and listen to that.  If you were around for any of his pregnancy you may remember how hard it was.  There were so many ups and downs with my care, I had bloodwork taken in a parking garage, we drove hours back and forth, I was treated unkindly by many care providers, I had to fiercely advocate for myself and my family every step of the way and it was exhausting.  I bled quite a bit in my first trimester, I battled prenatal depression and anxiety and in the midst of all of that, 2020 was raging on behind me and we were still living with and helping care for Dustin’s Nanny.  It was a really hard, exhausting season.  Needless to say, the entire pregnancy was just anxiety.  I don’t remember truly being excited or joyful.  I just wanted it to be over and my misery showed through in a lot of areas.  My depression and anxiety was worse than it needed to be, my diet was horrific and I rarely moved out of bed.  Granted I was writing a lot at the time for an online platform so I was busy with work but my anxiety and fear was an at all time high.

I am beyond happy to report that this pregnancy has been completely different.  I’ve had my anxious moments but they’ve quickly been soothed by God’s peace and by my incredible midwife and the team that I’m building for myself.  I prioritized me and my care this time because even if it meant shelling out our own money, it was worth it to be treated with kindness, empathy and respect.  That’s something we’ll probably talk about later on, either the end of this season or next season.  It’s stuff I really want to touch on, so if you have a story in relation to that, reach out, I’d love to chat.  I wanted my decisions and choices for this pregnancy to be honored and encouraged and I knew that if I didn’t have a support system for this, I’d be setting myself up for failure like I did with Hayden’s pregnancy.

I’m actually doing quite a bit differently this time.

I’m not going to get into everything today because honestly I am not ready to have certain conversations that are very personal to me and my choices for this pregnancy, but I will tell you a little bit.

I am actively trying to keep my stress levels low with lots of breathing, lots of prayer, and journaling.

I am staying busy with my body which is naturally happening given that I have a household and a toddler to take care of this time, so that’s not as much of an issue, but on the days that I’m not completely exhausted from first trimester hormones, I’m attempting a workout.  I’m hoping by starting this in my first trimester this time, I’ll be able to get into heavier workouts again in my 2nd trimester.  Last pregnancy I didn’t even attempt workouts until the middle to end of my 2nd trimester and needless to say, it showed.   That’s one of my biggest tips I give to new moms.  It’s really, really hard to workout in your first trimester but just keeping so that you can move easier in your second. My goal is to not gain as much weight this time and to have a happier, healthier and more energized pregnancy.  Now weight gain in pregnancy is normal and you’re supposed to gain some but I gained way more than I should have because of my diet and just because of how I was living my life.  This takes work, a lot of work, but by reminding myself of how miserable I was last time during pregnancy and postpartum, it’s helped me muster up the energy to stay on track with a lot of my goals this time.

That being said I’m also being super intentional with my nutrition this time.  If I’m craving ice cream, I have a scoop instead of an entire container.  I’m choosing healthier options.  I’m trying to give myself things that I know I’m going to love.  Like I love popsicles when I’m pregnant.  But instead of buying them from the store with a bunch of added sugar I’m literally dumping pineapple into a popsicle mold so that I have a pineapple popsicle that is delicious but that’s not going to affect my sugar levels as much as it could have.  Anyways that’s just one example.  I’m trying to be more intentional with the types of foods I’m eating and putting more of an emphasis on real foods and avoiding processed.  I still indulge a little here and there but basically I’m not sitting in bed eating an entire jumbo sized box of goldfish, pretzels, sour patch kids and cherry popsicles like I did with Hayden.  I’m very thankful that my main craving is fruit and cold veggies.  Get back to me next trimester though.

I want to preface all of this with the fact that I really prepared myself.  From the time I was postpartum with Hayden I knew I wanted to treat my body differently.  And I had done that a little bit before his pregnancy which is how I even got pregnant in the first place.  But it was like a month journey and then I got pregnant and it was all down hill from there.  This time I wanted to be healthier for myself, my family and for future pregnancies and it worked.  I’m not saying that’s the case for everyone, in fact there’s a lot of healthy women who struggle with secondary infertility and I hate even sharing my pregnancy because I know the hardship they’re walking through and it’s just really not fair.  So I don’t say any of this to say that I’m doing everything right, but I do know that people are curious and want to know how people do things, which is why I’m sharing.  It’s all a part of my story.

I started with high quality vitamins, improving the quality and quantities of my foods, establishing better sleep and water practices.  I’ve really worked on a lot of my stress coping mechanisms and I’ve started to let a lot of things go.  I’ve gotten involved in our church and I’ve prioritized friendships.  I’ve really set better business hours for my work and chosen to pursue a life of balance instead of all or nothing because it doesn’t matter how much money I have if I’m not around to use it because I killed my body or if I don’t have relationships to share it with.   It’s really amazing what happens to your body when you let things go.  I’ve let a lot of anxiety, sadness and stress go.  I’ve let go of a lot of trauma and of a lot of people who were really hurting me.  I’ve truly prioritized my relationship with God and so that when I am in those moments where I’m scared I can tap into His peace that He offers me.  The outcome is not in my hands, but how I react is in my control and nothing gets better with panic and binging, but everything feels better in His arms.

I know this was very much about me today, which I apologize, but I wanted to give the Solidarity family an update before I wrap up the season in a few weeks.  I also wanted to share a few resources and people that have helped me a lot in prepping to conceive and just the entire journey of getting healthier over the last year and a half.

I really love Lauren Roxburgh- the Lo Rox Studio- it is an awesome resource for workouts, especially postpartum and building back strength at home.

Fallon from Fallon’s Table on Instagram is an awesome human to follow for all things pro-metabolic and just general nutrition info in general.  Kori Meloy is also amazing, definitely recommend it..  I will have all of them linked in my bio.  I’ve also been listening to some podcasts like the Happy Homebirth Podcast and the Birth Hour, a birth story podcast.  All of those I definitely recommend and I’ll link them all.  And the podcast with Fallon and Kori is called Freely Rooted the podcast. I definitely recommend listening to all of those.  Even if you’re just in a season of thinking of wanting to get pregnant or just wanting to get healthier in general, they are all really great resources.  Obviously, it’s not a one-size fits all and I really didn’t follow a specific regiment, I just implemented things that I felt like my body needed.  I think the most important thing to note about where I’m at in my journey is that I’m learning to trust my body for probably the first time.  I have some serious trust issues from past pregnancies, weight gain, depression, anxiety and other trauma.  In learning to trust my intuition and lean into what my body is telling me that it needs, the way that God set it up to work, I’ve unlocked a lot within myself and it’s helped me to get to this point.  It’s an every day struggle to maintain, and I have to stay steady in my choices as to not fall back or to not give into my emotions and binge or stay on the couch for a week straight, but these women have helped me immensely in this journey of changing my mindset and healing my body.  I share because maybe you’ll be able to glean something from them too.  I can’t wait to keep sharing this pregnancy with you and I’m so thankful for everyone’s love and support for our growing family!

RESOURCES:

Freely Rooted Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-freely-rooted-podcast/id1558059416 

Happy Homebirth Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happy-homebirth/id1446934537 

The Birth Hour Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-birth-hour-a-birth-story-podcast/id1041801905 

Lauren Roxburgh: https://laurenroxburgh.com 

Fallon Lee: https://www.instagram.com/fallondanae/ 

Kori Meloy: https://www.instagram.com/korimeloy/ 

Thank you so much for listening in this week. 

Check out the show notes for information on how to connect, subscribe and share if you’d like and I’ll meet you back here next Wednesday for a new episode.

DM me on Instagram @riley_quin or shoot me an email riley@rileyq.com and let me know what you’re going through and if there is a specific topic you want me to talk about and if I haven’t experienced it, I’ll find someone who has to come and chat with us.

Want to share your story?

I just really want to get back to why I created this space, which is to share our experiences and our stories to find solidarity, even in the hardship because you’re not alone. Someone has always walked before you and someone is always walking beside you and behind you so we must share.  We are not meant to live in isolation.

I’d love to have you on my monthly “Coffee Dates” email list, you can sign up on my website or click the link below in the show notes. You can follow me on Instagram @riley_quin and check out my new account @furtherandfree as I am relaunching my virtual assistant business to help women further their businesses and creative endeavors by taking tasks off their plates and freeing up their time to work on their God-given gifts!  If you know of someone who is looking to hire a bit of help, please send them my way, it would mean the world. If you feel called to, please share with a woman who you know needs to be strengthened and encouraged. It would mean the world to me if you’d leave a podcast review on Apple podcasts and let me know your favorite part of this week’s episode. Thanks again & be sure to subscribe and we’ll meet back here next Wednesday for a new episode.

As always, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re wanted, needed and loved. I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you are enough.

xoxo - Ry