Welcome back to the Solidarity podcast

where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is, being a woman.

This week we are jumping back into loving our bodies and caring for them well. Last week I shared my story and this week I’m excited to dive into what it looks like to care for your body wholly. Not just the exercise part but the mental and spiritual part as well.  I’m going to bring some scripture to the table, share lots of tips on how to avoid gluttony and how to care for your body, mind, heart and soul!  So if you missed last week’s episode go ahead and check that out first and then head back this way. Get comfy or pop those headphones in while you do your dishes and let’s dive right in.

Now if you listened to the IGTV I did with my friend Lauren last month some of this will be repeat info but I wanted to break it down even further and more concisely so bear with me.

I want to recap my story really quickly just in case you don’t remember or don’t care to listen to last week’s episode.  I also wanted to add in a few notes about my mental health so that I can tie that back in with some of the tips I’m going to be sharing.

I’ve struggled with my mental health for years but it became very apparent that I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks in high school. After I moved 500 miles away from home by myself I also found out that I struggled with depression.  These became prominent issues for me and I struggled through my first year of marriage and through miscarriages and trying to get pregnant. It wasn’t pretty.   When I got diagnosed with PCOS I decided to lose weight and get healthier in hopes of getting pregnant.  I changed my eating habits, started exercising and I lost 20 pounds in one month because my body was so past ready to shed the weight. The next month I found out I was pregnant and I let my health take the back seat again. I ate a lot of really processed, greasy, sugary foods because I was pregnant and “I could”, but I shouldn’t have because it made my prenatal depression and anxiety much worse than it should have been.  Now I know for future pregnancies but it would’ve made my already horrific year of 2020, a lot better if I had taken care of myself and nurtured my body. Fast forward to now, I’m 11 months postpartum, I’m taking supplements to support my body chemistry, I’m actively seeking Jesus every day and getting into  the word and I’m working out and intentionally choosing the foods that I fuel my body with.  My mental health, although I still have hard days here and there, has never been better.

Now I want to talk about you.  This may be uncomfortable but I want you to get super real with yourself.  Ask yourself, am I doing these things?  You cannot change and you will not see change until you admit that there are issues and problems to be addressed.

So I’m seeing that many people are still stuck in what I call the 2020 funk. Not moving.  Not fueling their bodies.  Forgetting to drink water.  Drinking a lot.  Sitting on their couches a lot.  Consuming more tv and media than ever before.  Living in a state of panic and fear that fluctuates with the news cycle.  Eating for comfort rather than necessity and making emotional choices about their eating.  Do you find yourself doing any of these things?  Just waiting for everything to be over so you can get back to your life?  Kinda like how we wait until January 1st to try and start a new diet or losing weight?  I know, I’ve been guilty of all of the above myself.  But newsflash, there’s always going to be something.  It’s never going to just be over.  So we have to pick ourselves up and go.  I just want to shout from the rooftops, you don’t have to be stuck.  If you are unhappy or you don’t feel well or you know you’re not in a good place physically and/or mentally, you do not have to live with what you’ve got. You can change it.

You don’t have to be stuck with mental health that is waging a war against you.

You don’t have to be stuck with a body you don’t like.

You don’t have to be stuck with a mindset that isn’t letting you move on.

Granted, this takes determination & pulling yourself out of it.  But ultimately, Jesus can and will give you the strength if you ask for it.

Matthew 11:28-30, one of my favorite verses reminds us that Jesus wants us to come to Him and He wants to give us rest- physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

He says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Go to Jesus, even for the little things.  Resisting a tempting food that you know isn’t going to positively benefit you?  He’s got you.  Finding the motivation to get out of bed 40 minutes early to workout?  He’s got you.  Calming your anxious mind and heart?  He can and will do it.  Go to Him in prayer and have faith that you are not stuck.

I want to give you some realistic tips on how to approach your body in all facets.  Since we’re talking about caring for your body wholly- mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, all the tips are going to be kinda  mixed in.  Our bodies are a singular unit.  All of the systems effect each other.  If you don’t look at it from a holistic point of view, you’re doing yourself a disservice.  Your physical health plays a part with your mental health and your mental health directly effects your emotional health and your spiritual health plays a part in all of these areas.  So if you’re going to work on it- you have to realize you’re going to be chipping away at all of these areas.

I don’t want you to get overwhelmed by that because I’m not asking you to make major life changes all at once and you really shouldn’t because then they’re less likely to stick.  Establish where you want to go- the end goal- and then break it down into little goals to get there.  Just like you would with losing weight, you don’t want to cut out everything all at once or you probably won’t maintain it. You work at certain food groups, play with different modes of exercise and you slowly but surely let the weight fall off and establish new habits to support the weight loss long term.  You want to do the same thing with supporting every facet of your health.

Okay- I believe in you.  Take a deep breath, let’s go.

It’s important to note that your mental health is greatly affected by the food you eat, if you move your body and the ideas and attitudes you’re letting fuel your brain.  Music, television, podcasts, the people you let in- it all plays a part.  As hard as it is to make changes, it’s much harder to pull yourself out of a dark place especially if you start to cope with unhealthy mechanisms such as drugs, alcohol, pornography or whatever your vice is.  So starting right now and establishing healthy habits that will support your entire body and not let you get to that dark place is so important.

Your brain is a part of your entire body and when you aren’t fueling your body well with nourishing foods and movement, you’re not feeding your brain.  As a result you’re depleting your brain and it will cause your mental health to decline.  Now I’m not saying that medication isn’t sometimes necessary but if you’re not first looking at what you’re eating, how often you’re moving your body and the messages you’re consuming, you’re doing yourself a great disservice.

Let’s break down these three areas- food, exercise and media and the practical tips I have for adjusting how you view them.

Food:

I know this is a hard one.  I’m a binger.  I’ve struggled with my weight because of food.  I talked about that last week.

I love and could very well say that I am addicted to sugar. When I can’t have treats when other people can I tend to get sad.  I go to food as an emotional crutch and I literally have been known to plan events and outings around coffee and pastries.  One thing that has helped me to put it into perspective when I’ve needed to cut out foods that ultimately don’t make me feel good and that I know hinder my brain, gut and overall health is to ask myself: Where does my joy come from? Does it come from drinking on weekends or late night ice cream?  Or does it come from spending time with Jesus?  What is sustaining me?  I know there are foods that I can substitute that taste wonderful that fuel my body that I can very well eat, I just have to make different choices and realize that my joy and happiness doesn’t come from that cupcake or donut or box of cheez-its, it comes from Jesus.

I want to share a few verses with you that have helped me realize how important it is to prioritize my physical health for the sake of my spiritual health.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 says:

“Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says:

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

1 Corinthians 10:31 says:

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Galatians 5:22-24

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

Let’s talk about that for a second.  To crucify ourselves with Christ- to lay our lives down for Him- a sign of us doing that is to have self control.  This means saying no to things that we don’t need that are going to do us more harm than good.  That means not being gluttons and not just eating everything we want all the time.  This means that you can glorify God with what you choose to put in your body.  That puts things into perspective.

One thing I have to do is intentionally not let my blood sugar drop to the point where I’ll just eat whatever looks good or whatever is easiest.  I keep foods on hand that are easy to snack on and that will keep me going throughout the day.  I also know how many calories a day I should be eating and generally what foods are what.  This has been key because not eating enough can also harm you and actually cause you to hurt your mental and physical health.   I’ve found that having yummy, somewhat easy options readily available has helped immensely.

Start slow with shifting foods in and out and pay attention to how they make you feel when you eat them, physically. Do you feel alert and ready to go or do you feel groggy, sad, tired or frustrated soon after eating?  I know for me simple carbs, sugar and processed foods make me feel this way and it’s not worth how sick, anxious and gross I feel right after I eat them. Food is fuel, so if it’s not fueling me, then what’s the point?  So instead I find yummy options, complex carbs, naturally occurring sugar when I want a treat and putting yummy spices into meals I wouldn’t typically like that I know will fuel my body, make me feel great after I eat it and through that, I feel great when I’m eating.  And when I don’t, I know Jesus is sustaining me and at the root of my joy.  Now I’m not perfect all the time and I’ll totally admit that but these are some of the things that have helped keep me on track throughout this journey.

A tip that I use a lot personally is not having the foods that I know I tend to binge with in the house.  I don’t buy them.  Chances are my husband and son don’t need to eat those foods either.  I also don’t want to encourage emotional eating habits with either of them so not having those trigger foods in the house really benefits all of us.

Now what if I come about these foods while out and about?  That’s harder but for instance, when I’m at a church potluck,  I remind myself what I’m there for: to nourish my body and to have community with others.  I’m not there to feel like I’m missing out by not eating everything.  I’m not there to gorge myself and the end goal is to leave feeling nourished, loved and not sick.  So I do this by choosing a few main foods that I know will fill me up.  These are foods I’m already typically eating, usually known as the “healthier” choices.  Meat and veggies and complex carbs that will be slower to break down leaving me full and without a sugar headache. And then I choose a few fun foods.  But mostly I focus on portion control.  I know when I’m home I can be in control of my options and when I’m out with others where someone has made food for me,  I can be in control of my portions.  I find it important to remind myself regularly that I’m there for the community.  I also think it’s important that you talk about your goals with others so they’re aware and it really helps keep me accountable to what I’m choosing to put on my plate.  I also have to ask myself when choosing, is this going to make me feel good or does it just look good?  And then once I sit down, I remind myself that I can always go back and get more or if I don’t finish my plate that’s okay too.  And when it’s really hard and all I want to do is fill up at the dessert table, I pray and ask God for strength and joy.  I ask Him to remind me that my joy comes from Him and not from what I’m consuming.

Being very aware of what triggers you to binge or take part in an unhealthy relationship with food is vital to this process.  Is it an emotional experience for you?  Are you trying to replace something with food?  Identifying where that is coming from can help you get to the root of it to pray over it, seek counsel and to redirect your habits when you know that trigger is happening.  I know for me personally one of my triggers is if I get sad or frustrated while I am out and about and I haven’t eaten in awhile, I’ll stop for a quesadilla from Taco Bell or mozzarella sticks with a lemonade from Sonic.  These things don’t make me feel good after I eat them, I don’t even really feel like I’ve eaten.  I’m not sustained at all and I’ve set myself back from my goals.  I’m also trying to fill an emotional need with something that isn’t going to fill it because it’s not Jesus.  So I’ve started to be really intentional about keeping food in the car that I know I’ll enjoy eating and that will check all of those boxes.  So that when I get triggered instead of being reckless and driving myself to that place- because remember you do physically have to go there and that is a choice you are making- I can make the choice to eat what is in the car and then drive myself to my destination and pray along the way.  Set yourself up for success by knowing what triggers you and then having readily available solutions.

The last thing I’ll say about this food section is that it is so important that you are drinking your water.  It not only helps you with your appetite and cravings and binging, but it has a ton of health benefits.  Put down the pop, limit your caffeine and make sure you’re getting that water in.  I love fun straws and cute cups.  It helps me drink my water and now I have no problem with this.

Alright let’s move on to exercise.

Are you moving?  Are you getting outside?  Are you moving that cerebral spinal fluid throughout your body and nourishing your brain stem?  Are you burning off the fat that is literally weighing you down?

Movement plays a huge part into your mental health and in order to get those endorphins and that serotonin really going, you have to move. You don’t have to do intense workouts every day but just moving intentionally for 30 minutes a day is vital.

Take a walk, go on a hike or a jog.  Lift weights.  Kick box.  Dance.  Do jazzercise on your tv in the comfort of your own home.  Literally whatever way of movement brings you even the littlest bit of joy.  I know it’s not fun, at first, I’m not someone who loves to workout.  But the more I do it, the more I start enjoying it because my mental health is so much better and I can tell when I don’t workout or move. Prioritize movement.

As far as realistically, I know I’m talking to a lot of moms here so I’ll tell you what I've done.

First I started off slow.  I would watch videos on YouTube because I do all of my workouts at home. I have a little bit of equipment, a mat, rollers, a few different kinds of dumbbells, resistance bands- small easy stuff like that. I keep it in a pretty basket in my living room so it’s easily accessible.  The easier to get to it, the more likely you’ll do it.  I also found a few instructors I really like.  I do the Lo Rox program and then I love Caroline Girvan on YouTube and then blogilates and then there’s a few girls I like for when I was early postpartum and just doing 15-20 minute easy workouts to get my strength in.  I shoot for 30-40 minutes a day but if I only hit 20 minutes I’m okay with that too.  Start slow and find people you enjoy and then find a place in your routine where it will best serve you.

I shoot for 5 days a week right after breakfast.  This is when Hayden is happiest or I’ll push it to right before lunch and put him down for a nap.  Right now I put him in his room where it’s completely baby proof, I can watch him on the monitor and he can play.  Before I would let him crawl around me, time it with his nap or I’d use him as a dumbbell.  I know it can be overwhelming with kids but bring them into it and invite them to do things with you- you have to prioritize your health or you will not be able to keep up with your kids the way you should be able to.  So remember that next time you try to let your kids be your excuse.  I know that sounds harsh, but for the majority of us, it’s not a good one.  Kids actually behave better when we invite them to do things with us so if you’re worried about them getting into trouble make them a part of your workout.  You may not be able to do crazy lifting and stuff right now- and if you want to do that, prioritize the gym at night and have your partner watch the kids or find a gym that has daycare so you can go do your thing.  Milena Ciciotti on YouTube has a lot of good videos with more ideas about that so definitely check her out.  Anyways, I shoot for 5 days but if it doesn’t happen, I at least roll on my body roller or do some sort of movement and walk around the house or bounce on the trampoline.  Shoot to just move your body everyday.  Whatever that means for you, there’s no judgement.

Be sure to tune into your intuition as well.  I know when I’m about to start my period or if I’m ovulating, I’m a little more tired and I don’t feel good.  So I’ll do yoga, pilates, light stretching or a less intense workout.  Same for when I’m exhausted or sick.  If it’s just way too much, I skip that day and it’s okay.  Taking care of your body means you meet it where it’s at.  There’s times you have to push yourself but there’s also times you need to prioritize rest.

Having an accountability partner, a gym buddy, and clearly laid out goals are immensely helpful for this process.  This is not my area of expertise and I’m always learning so I want to point you to my friend Lauren who does daily workout accountability polls on her Instagram -which have changed my life- tons of helpful reels for gym tips, making gym friends, general health and accountability.  I love her and you will too. So go follow @laurenrachellefitness I’ll link her account in the show notes.

Last but not least, let’s talk about media.

Do you realize how much the media you consume shapes your opinions, your mindset, your goals, the way you see yourself and the way you see the world around you?  That is POWERFUL and therefore you need to be beyond intentional about what you’re consuming and much you’re consuming it.

What are you watching? Listening to? What messages are you letting infiltrate your brain constantly?

Newsflash: the true crime podcasts, murder shows, trashy reality tv and depressing news channels aren’t doing your mental health any good.  Now, you can enjoy these, and I do, but constantly having them on and playing in your head isn’t healthy.  It’s not giving your brain the fuel it needs.

Philippians 4:8 lays it out pretty clearly for us.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

If you’re wondering if what you’re consuming is healthy for you run it through that checklist.  What I can assure you of is this; the Bible and time spent in prayer will always meet that checklist and so if you’re bored and you’re not sure what is going to bring you life and meet that list- that is your best bet.  In fact, it’s imperative that you prioritize this.

You have to plug yourself into the Bible.  This really effects your mental, spiritual and emotional health.  Are you prioritizing truth in your life?  Is it the first or last voice you run to?  Take the time to read your Bible every day.  Even if it’s just a few minutes or a few verses or you listen to it- I don’t care.  Get that truth in because if the Bible isn’t telling you how to do something or how to feel about something, someone else who does not have your best intentions will and that can lead you down a hard spiral.

You need to look at how you’re spending your time.  Are you always watching tv?  Are you constantly reading the latest news story?  Are you focusing on everyone’s lives on Facebook to avoid dealing with your own?  Is the way you’re consuming social media harming you more than it’s benefiting you?  Consider stepping back and setting time limits on the apps.  Consider deleting the apps for a time period.  Consider doing a fast so that you can focus on what’s truly important which if you haven’t figured out already, is your health.

Prioritize getting outside.  This is part of movement but even if you just walk around in your yard or sit out in the grass and pray- whatever you can, it’s so good for you.  I know when I’m in the worst of depression, getting outside can flip a switch that turns me around.  But because I’m depressed, the last thing I want to do is get up and get dressed and go outside.  So if all you can do is open the blinds or open the window, do it.  It’ll help.

If you’re someone who struggles with depression or anxiety I also encourage you to have a plan with your partner or friends.  When you’re in a good place explain to them the signs of you going into a bad place and explain what you need from them.  For example Dustin knows that when I’m starting to go downhill I need to get up, get a shower, change my clothes, I need the house to be cleaned up, I need a nourishing meal and then I either need cuddles with the blinds open or I need to get out of the house and go to the store or just go on a drive.  He knows this and as time has gone on when he sees it coming he helps pull me out of it.  Don’t feel like you have to do this life alone.  Even if you don’t have a romantic partner, your friends and family don’t want to see you go into a bad place.  They often want to help, so giving them the tools when you’re able will help you to help them help you, when you really need it.  So get around people you love, who give you life, at least once a week and try to connect with one person, even just virtually once a day, if not more.

And if you’re ever second guessing yourself about something you’re watching, reading, listening to or someone you’re hanging out with, just ask yourself: “is this life giving or life taking?”.  When you start looking through this lens you’ll start to notice how much you’re bringing your brain down just by what you’re consuming and exposing yourself to on a daily basis.  When you start to be intentional with how you spend your time you’ll find that your mental health will greatly improve.

A few last tips that I want to give, I’m going to rapid fire because I don’t want this to be ridiculously long, I think we’re already at 20 minutes and I don’t want to make a 3rd part, but I want you to hear me.

If you’re actively working on those 3 key areas, it’s going to help your mental health significantly.  But there are other areas that you can also focus on to help you avoid burnout that are more based on your circumstances.  So here’s a few quick tips.

1. Don’t run yourself into the ground. Start saying no. See what you can take off your plate and hand off. Realize that everything will eventually get done but it will get done better if you prioritize rest and give yourself a break. When you need to rest but you’re working on a tight schedule, set a timer and do nothing for those 10-15 minutes and then get back to it. Find the things that make your soul happy that will fill you up- encouraging podcasts, worship music, reading your Bible, a fun playlist at the gym- integrate these things that bring you up while doing things that sometimes weigh you down but that are still priorities.

2. Prioritize your environment. Your physical environment can greatly affect your mental health. Are you keeping your space clean? Are you opening the blinds and windows and letting in sunlight and fresh air? Are you working in a cubicle all day and not taking a lunch break and getting outside? These things play a huge role and you have to prioritize sunlight, fresh air and cleanliness. If this overwhelms you, I get it. It doesn’t have to be perfect all the time. Start small with one room or make a list of 2-3 things you can do everyday to maintain your space.

3. How much time are you devoting to self care and time spent by yourself? Probably not enough, so prioritize that.

4. Are you investing in healthy, life giving relationships or are you giving everything you have to people who don’t value you or who are draining the life out of you? Stop doing that.

5. Are you working towards a long term job you love, are you pursuing your passions or are you miserable with your work? Does this need an attitude change or a completely different job to fix this? That’s something to consider.

6. You want to consider counseling and therapy which I think can be really beneficial for a lot of people. There are online counselors with sliding scales that make it more affordable and accessible.

7. Consider how you’re consuming alcohol and caffeine and the effects that it has on you.

8. This is not going to be popular, we can talk about this in my DM’s if you want to. Consider your consumption of pornography and the toll that it takes on your mental health.

9. Consider the kinds of supplements and vitamins you’re taking and if they’re supporting you with the nutrients that you need to keep your brain, your gut and other major organs working properly.

10. Consider your hormones and running tests to see where your thyroid and your hormone levels are at because that also plays a major role in your mental health.

11. Focus on your entire body and the ways you’re using it to get through your days and look from the problem areas.

12. As you start solving these issues you’ll start to see that your mental health improves. And obviously, consider seeing a doctor if you’re not doing well and you think you’d like to get on medication- there is nothing wrong with that I just encourage everyone to take all things into consideration before starting on it because it can have a lot of side effects so it’s important to know what you’re getting into.
    

At the end of the day see what you can take off your plate, practice saying no and then set little goals of practical things you can do everyday. Start with something simple like doing your dishes, eating a piece of fruit or opening your windows.  Start small and add something on when you feel like you can.  But I recommend starting with your environment because that will help you shift your energy which will fuel you and motivate you to keep changing other aspects to support every part of you.

Before we wrap up I want to remind you that it is vital that you do all of this with a support system.  I don’t care how introverted you are, if you’re not leaning into Jesus and then into community, you’re going to make this a lot harder on yourself and you’ll most likely give up or give in at some point.  We don’t all have built in ones or people that naturally rally around you, so you have to be intentional about getting one. Church, the gym, college groups, people you work with.  Invite someone to go to the gym with you or to meal prep with you or to come over and make something yummy.  Check out the “Making Room” by Gather podcast to learn more about intentional hospitality if this is something you’re afraid of.  If you’re a college student find a college group at your church or find a place you can serve and get to know the people round you.  If you’re mom finding a mom group & joining it even if you don’t know a single person (MOPS or MumLife are great options- see what’s in your area). I know it’s scary, I’ve recently done it myself but it is so worth it.  God shows up in such cool ways when we say yes and just move forward, even when it’s scary.  Part of looking for a support system is being willing to be one yourself for others.  Put yourself out there and be vulnerable.  And honestly, it’s going to help you in every facet of your wellbeing.  It’s not just for the physical goals, it’s going to be positively benefit your mental health and overflow into your spiritual wellbeing too.

I truly do believe that you can find a happy, healthy balance with your mental health and the relationship it has with all three things we talked about.  It just takes intentionality, balance- which takes time to achieve and grace for when you fall off the path and need to get back on it again.  It takes having a support system that will check in on you, cheer you on and hold you accountable to your goals.  Jesus has got you and if you tap into His strength you will find that your life will change drastically for the better.

Thank you so much for listening in this week. If you’d like to share your story, shoot me an email or DM. You can follow me on Instagram @riley_quin and you can also sign up for my monthly email list on my website rileyq.com or click the link below.  If you feel called to, please share with a woman who you know needs to be strengthened and encouraged. It would mean the world to me if you’d leave a podcast review on Apple podcasts and let me know your favorite part of this week’s episode. Thanks again & be sure to subscribe and come back next Wednesday for a new episode!

As always, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re wanted, needed and loved. I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you are enough.