Love Taps

You’re safe.

Or at least as safe as you can be right now.

Wiggling and wobbling and flipping and flopping, you never stop reminding me that you’re here.

You’re here and you’re alive and you can’t wait to meet the world.

You know me. You like to let me know everyday how much you love me with a swift kick to my bladder and a swing at my kidneys.

Love taps.

You kick back at his hand, but only when you feel like it.

You and me though, you always tap back at me.

Sometimes I overthink things and just want to make sure you’re okay. Other times I miss you and I want you to wake up- that’ll be short lived though, don’t get used to it.

Thanks for always answering my knock. Your enthusiasm about hearing from me makes my heart smile- I’m wanted by you already.

You’ve lived in the deepest part of my soul and yet everyday you remind me that I get to spend my lifetime getting to know you. It’s a gift that never stops giving, I guess that’s why you amaze me.

One of the reasons you amaze me, I’m sure there will be thousands of others that I’ll be able to write heaps of books about. Books that only I’ll want to read- but I’d write them anyways.

You know I was afraid we wouldn’t connect.

I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to love you the way you deserve. And I won’t, I won’t ever be able to live up to that, but I’ll spend every day trying.

I work so hard to be better for you.

You make me a better person and I’m grateful for that- you’re already changing lives.

You’re going to do a whole lot more of that you know- just you wait.

It’s going to be hard in these coming months as we get used to one another. We know each other deeply, but this is a whole new realm we’re walking in to. But we’ve made it this far, we’ll make it through all the challenges that still face us, you and me we’re strong like that.

Don’t ever forget how strong you are.

Strong willed.

Strong hearted.

Strongly chosen.

Beloved.

So listen to me, you only have a few weeks left, tucked safe inside before we have to figure things out. You’re going to feel a lot of big feelings and you’re going to make me feel a lot of big things- but we’re in this together.

I’ll never stop knocking on your door and asking to be let into your heart- because we are so deeply rooted together. Even when we don’t want to be. But it’ll bring us back.

Don’t forget that I love you.

Don’t forget the prayers I prayed for you and over you.

Don’t forget my love taps, I won’t forget yours.

Love, Mama

- October 27th at 1 AM – you’re kicking away in my belly and reminding me that you’re here.