Everything Isn’t For Everyone
Welcome back to the Solidarity podcast
where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is, being a woman.
Have you ever been scrolling and you saw a post, probably from an MLM leader that was bragging about a team member who ranked up and the premise of the post was “she stopped making excuses”? I cannot count the amount of those posts I’ve seen. Everything always points back to excuses and in a backwards kind of way tries to get into your head to make you think that if you don’t say yes to every opportunity that you’re holding yourself back and making excuses.
It’s a specific situation, but it’s one that I think a lot of us have been in.
So can I just say something?
Everything isn’t for everyone.
Saying no to what you’re literally not interested in or what you’re not called to do then is not an excuse and don’t let anybody (or their sales quota) tell you otherwise.
Social media has us very confused about this, so much so that a lot of us have the tendency to bounce to the polar opposite of whatever we’re being asked to consider. This leads to inflated egos, hurt feelings and a lot of virtue signaling. Which let me get this straight, you can only offend those who will choose to be offended. You can choose to scroll past, unfollow and move on if you don’t agree with something someone else believes. Not every conversation has to be a monumental moment where you attempt to change another grown person’s mind. I love social media for the fact that we can share information on a personable level, a level that the mainstream media is so past being on. What I don’t love is the fact that we expect the people that we follow to always post a specific type of information and when they stray from that we take it personally. Anything that anyone else posts we assume is to convince us to think otherwise and rather than take it as “oh they liked this and they’re sharing it for anyone who is curious or also find this interesting” we jump to the selfish conclusion of “this person doesn’t agree with me and they’re personally targeting me with this information and trying to change my mind” and then sometimes we even go as far as to message that person to let them know how wrong we think they are and why they should take it down or “be better”. Which is quite funny because it really isn’t that deep and regardless of how much of an activist you may or may not be, even in a public domain it’s nobody’s business but theirs what they choose to believe and share.
I truly think a lot of social media would be so much more stress free if we didn’t have DM’s or the ability to spout off in a moment of frustration or if we just as a society agreed to stop taking everything so personally and falling into this victim mentality. Basically, let’s mind our own business.
So back to what I was saying, because I do have a point here, everything isn’t for everyone.
Hustle culture tells you otherwise.
MLM culture tells you otherwise.
The media tells you otherwise.
Political agendas tells you otherwise.
Money driven medicine tells you otherwise.
But that’s just not reality, that’s advertising and a whole lot of money and agendas that go into that advertising. Advertising is programmed to emit a response from a demographic and every time you give them the response they’re paying for, you make them more money. Engaging in conversations meant to set you up is actually only hurting you because you step away from the internet, you realize it doesn’t actually effect you in the real world and it probably doesn’t matter all that much.
Our intuitions, or as I like to call it, the Holy Spirit for those of us who are believing Christians, are like a super power. It is strong and our convictions aren’t something to ignore. If you feel off about something, avoid it. If you feel overly drawn to something and not in a God arranged this kinda way, it’s also probably something to avoid. The world has us believing that everything that we want is good for us and that is the devil talking through and through. Eve wanted the apple but it sure as heck wasn’t good for her even if it tasted good in the moment. David wanted Bathsheba and he took her, it probably felt good in the moment but it sure as heck wasn’t good for him or that entire family.
Now can God work everything for His good? Yeah, that’s what makes Him God. He’s all powerful and knows way more than we ever will. That’s why, when we’re operating in day to day life, we should be in conversation with Him because if we’re not talking to the one who knows all that is going on in the world, can see into the future He created and can use the gifting He’s given us for the best use, we’re doing ourselves a major disservice.
This is a dumbed down example but remember when we were kids and we completely relied on our parents to get us places, schedule things, pay for everything and provide? But then we wished we could be adults and then when we got to that point and had to do everything for ourselves it really was not all it was cracked up to be? Most of us had it good in one way or another and then growing up made it harder (to an extent, again, a very generalized and privileged example if you had this experience with your parents, I know a lot of us did not). In the same way we make things harder on ourselves when we feel like we have to be grown and do everything ourselves. Discern for ourselves, choose for ourselves, make our own plans, it’s exhausting and they fall prey to human error. Definitely don’t recommend when you could literally be talking to the one who knows it all.
So next time you feel pressured to sign up for something, or change your life forever, or jump onto a bandwagon, believe a new theory or you’re just challenged to look deeper into something ask God,
“Is this what is really best for me?”
“Am I supposed to do this?”
“Why am I doing this?”
“What happens if I don’t do this?”
In a world that says “take, take, take” we need to remember that every opportunity and belief is not for everyone. Jesus, totally for everyone, but not everyone will choose Him, in fact the Bible makes it really clear a lot won’t. That doesn’t mean we don’t stop sharing His goodness and word, but take the pressure off yourself to transform lives, God never asked us to do that. He asked us to follow His commandments and “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16. Live your life and live it faithfully and let that be your testament.
If you have the ability to talk about things, do so, but don’t always be looking for a fight. Be ready to defend the word of God but live a life that attracts people to Jesus and doesn’t push them away because they don’t want to get into a debate every time they talk to you. It’s amazing to have knowledge and to be ready to have hard conversations if and when God invites you into them, but listen, with the majority of people, empathy and grace are going to get you way farther. Sit with them in life and love on them. Be strong, but be different.
What you expect from others, be yourself.
Don’t be cruel, don’t attack, pray for the people who are confused and being led astray. Spend time with them and influence them with your kindness, but don’t be to them what they may do to you when they see something you share they don’t agree with. You are no different then.
So let’s say goodbye to pressuring & guilt tripping, it isn’t pretty.
Say no more to disrespecting the right to choose & the right to informed consent, no matter how you feel God is leading you in your personal decisions, treating others badly for making different decisions isn’t cute. Again, share away, but don’t go after people.
Educating everyone isn’t your job- even if you get paid to educate.
Degrees aren’t everything & experiences & intuitions need to be respected.
Be kind and be intentionally respectful because you expect the same for yourself.
Facts may not care about feelings, but you should.
So next time you get really frustrated and feel that anger bubbling up because that person shared “that” information you don’t agree with yet again and you’re tempted to tell them off or to tell them that they’re crazy or wrong, take a deep breath and pray that their eyes may be opened to truth and that God may soften your heart if there is something there to learn. Don’t let Satan get a rise out of you today. Okay? God’s peace is way better and when you’re fighting for the Kingdom, any distractions that take you into a battle you weren’t meant to walk into, can be devastating. Stay focused on what God has for you and be compassion.
Thank you so much for listening in this week.
Check out the show notes for information on how to connect, subscribe and share if you’d like and I’ll meet you back here next Wednesday for a new episode.
DM me on Instagram @riley_quin or shoot me an email riley@rileyq.com and let me know what you’re going through and if there is a specific topic you want me to talk about and if I haven’t experienced it, I’ll find someone who has to come and chat with us.
Want to share your story?
I just really want to get back to why I created this space, which is to share our experiences and our stories to find solidarity, even in the hardship because you’re not alone. Someone has always walked before you and someone is always walking beside you and behind you so we must share. We are not meant to live in isolation.
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As always, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re wanted, needed and loved. I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you are enough.