Allison: My Homemaking Story

Welcome back to the Solidarity podcast

where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is, being a woman.

Today I am excited to be sharing the story of someone who I’ve grown to admire and love.  She is a sister in Christ and she’s been a serious joy to follow.  I came across Allison’s page a few years ago when they bought their fixer upper and I remember being excited to follow her story. Now years later, babies later, we’ve connected over the art of homemaking and the beauty of serving our families in this way.  I have learned so much from Allison and when I was considering who I wanted to invite onto the podcast this season she was one of the first people I thought about.

Allison is a wife, mother to her 1 year old daughter, she taught high school theology for 9 years, has traveled the world and is now a Catholic blogger and homemaker in her adorable home that she and her husband Mark took from a fixer upper to an actual piece of artwork. You can find her on Instagram @marriedandahouse and I encourage you to run after this episode and check out their beautiful home and the wisdom that Allison shares on a regular basis.

I won’t blab on any more because I want you to listen to her story because it’s beautiful, relatable and  I hope encourages you in your own walk with Jesus, your marriage and your personal lifelong transformation.

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The Making of a Livable Space 

My homemaking journey began with the physical and literal making of my house.  When my husband and I were newly engaged, we bought a fixer upper that was not livable.  It had been uninhabited for 4 years except for the bat living in the attic, it smelled terribly of dog pee, and was deteriorating from the inside out.  Thus, the first step of learning homemaking for me, was learning how to make my house a livable space.  

Fixing up a house while planning a wedding and then getting married before the home was move-in ready was an adventure, to say the least.  We moved in as soon as we could but it looked a lot like camping...the dog pee/must smell was still potent throughout, made worse in the heat of summer without air conditioning.  The kitchen was still an empty room, the floors were covered in dust and dirt from the continual renovations and we were sleeping on an air mattress.  All the while living out of suitcases and all of    our belongings still in boxes.  It really brings the right mood into newlywed life, doesn’t it? 

We took the house through the last of the major renovations those first 6 months of marriage and then began living in it.  The whirlwind of that year really brought us to our limits.  It took many more months to settle into the house and get out of survival mode, and even more to begin figuring out the normal newlywed experiences of communication and learning to live together.  

The Next Discovery

After finishing the renovations on our house, we discovered there was still one major problem...our house, beautifully renovated and completely updated, was inhabited...by...us.  Two imperfect human beings, who were sometimes smelly and messy, and in need of “some renovations” themselves.  

Making the home into a beautiful place where there is joy and peace requires a transformation of the people who  dwell in it.  Yes, turning a house into a home is much more about the people that live inside it than the walls themselves.  All the time, money, and sweat poured into our house without the work on ourselves would lead to a superficial, empty and still messy life.  Don’t get me wrong, renovations and decor are wonderful things which I enjoy but they are not the heart of the home. 

You see, all houses (when it comes down to it) are really not that different, they have about 4 walls, and they are boxes we live in that contain our lives, yet each one feels tremendously different.  Why is that? 

Sure, they vary in size and furniture and decor changes the character of the space but  furniture and decor are still a reflection of something (rather someone) else.  A person.  Every home is primarily made by the way a person chooses to live in their space.  Their likes and dislikes, their priorities, daily routines and habits, and most importantly, their interior dispositions make up the overall environment of the home.  

Whether there is clutter or order, 

whether there is stress or peace, 

whether it is a place of angst or comfort.  

These conditions all come down to the people in the home.  

The Second Step in My Homemaking Journey 

Hence, I came to realize the next (and I should say lifelong) step in my homemaking journey...fixing up myself.  

Not trying to be dramatic, rather, trying to be honest, when I look inside myself, specifically my daily routines and motivations, I realize, I am about as imperfect as my home was when we bought it.  Pair that with the way marriage (and motherhood) magnifies those hidden areas of weakness and it’s a major renovation project! 

As with a fixer upper, a person may look at a wall and say “it looks pretty good”, but if they discover mold, the whole wall needs to be taken down, gutted and rebuilt.  Yes, they can live with it the way it is but it will start impacting their health (and the health of others) to ignore the internal decay which is calling for their attention.

And just like a fixer upper, being authentically beautiful requires doing hard internal work.  Authentically is the keyword here, I can make my home, my life, myself, look beautiful while still having a hidden room of junk which no one goes into or sees on I   nstagram.  No one may know that room exists, but I do and it impacts the way I live.  

Herein lies the choice: Do I continue to blame my living space for the ways it is lacking, do I continue to cover up the issues and say the walls “look pretty good” or do I rebuild and renovate myself in ways that change me and the environment I call home? 

Scope of Renovations.  

A few months ago, I chose the latter.  I decided I wanted to learn better habits, to reorder my priorities, and ultimately to discover more fully what it means to be a beautiful homemaker.  Homemaker is a word our modern world teaches us to be scared of but we need not be.  In reality, all people are homemakers of some kind.  We all make our homes into some kind of place and I know exactly the kind of place I want my home to be.  

I want to make my home a place where God is invited to dwell daily, where people feel loved and experience peace and joy, where virtues are nurtured and grown, a place of comfort and warmth,  of order and simplicity.  I desire to do my daily tasks in my home well. I desire to do all things with an attentive mind and heart to those that I am serving. I want all the motions of my life to be a song of worship to God.  Unlike the process of a fixer upper, this truly is a lifelong transformation but one I know I am called to spend my days living to my best ability. 

Maybe you are wondering how creating a home like this is done practically? 

Practically, I believe   this plays itself out in daily habits.  Daily habits in the home are integral to the overall environment of the home and the well being of those who live in it.  I am not talking solely about exterior chores like washing the dishes, making dinner, or scrubbing the toilet, but the interior disposition of the heart while accomplishing said homemaking tasks.  

The intentions behind our habits are like the room no one goes into or the mold behind the walls.  Others don’t see them and so we can think they don't matter, but in fact they matter greatly.  No one will fully know the thoughts in my mind or the feelings in my heart when I do my chores, but I believe my home will be transformed by the state of my heart in the midst of these tasks.  

There is one final thing, and it is the most important of all. I believe that as hard as I work on myself and my home, it will never be completely perfect.  There will always be a to-do list and I will always bear the weight of my own human weaknesses.  The point of living my vocation as a homemaker is not to reach perfection in this life but to realize my daily need to surrender to Jesus Christ and allow HIM to be the ultimate renovator.  Because of Him, there is no need to be discouraged.  

Each day, I start by offering Him all my works of the day ahead and each night, I thank Him for what the day became and resolve to begin again tomorrow.  Doing this has made the biggest impact in my home and in my life.

He gives me grace in moments I have nothing left.

He takes the mess in my heart and turns it into something beautiful.

He provides joy and peace amidst the  chaos and disarray of the day.

He teaches everything I need to know about how to make acts of sacrificial love.  

He is the source from which all good things flow and it is in Him that I am being transformed into the homemaker He has called me to be.

♡♡♡

Thank you for listening in to Allison’s story, I hope you found solidarity. I am so encouraged by her heart and her desire for all of the motions of her life to be a song of worship to God.  I have often longed for the same sentiment but it is easier said than done and I’m excited to implement some of her own practices into my routine.  Homemaking isn’t something that is done overnight and it is far more than the daily tasks and chores.  Like she said it is a lifelong transformation of the heart and the mind and that can only truly be done through the power of Jesus.  I encourage you to think about how you’re showing up in your home, the tone you’re setting and if you are prioritizing Jesus as the foundation of all of the work you do.

Thanks again to Allison for taking the time to share her story, I know it was a blessing to me.  Again you can find Allison on Instagram and Pinterest @marriedandahouse and on her blog - marriedandahouse.com.  I encourage you to follow her and go back through her highlights where she shares so many amazing homemaking tips that have helped me change the way I run my household.  If you’d like to share your story, shoot me an email or DM. You can follow me on Instagram @riley_quin. You can also sign up for my monthly email list on my website rileyq.com or click the link below.  If you feel called to, please share with a woman who you know needs to be strengthened and encouraged. It would mean the world if you’d leave a review on Apple podcasts and let me know your favorite part of today’s story. Thanks again & be sure to check back next Wednesday for a new episode!

As always, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re wanted, needed and loved. I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you are enough.