A Time For Everything
Welcome back to the Solidarity podcast
where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is, being a woman.
Welcome back to the Solidarity podcast, where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is, being a woman. I’m your host, Riley.
Have you ever been in a season where you feel like you’re wading through fog?
Everything around you just seems hazy, relationships aren’t fully jiving, physically you’re not in tip top shape, there is confusion around what you’re supposed to be doing and when? Before you may have felt like you were smack dab in the center of a storybook, encapsulated and safe in your own world. It may have had the occasional trouble but it was good. But then slowly and surely, your world starts coming apart at the seams. It doesn’t happen all at once, it wasn’t sliced open in one quick motion- rather it came slowly. The glue started withering, the bind started to break and edges of your pages were nibbled away and torn as life started to use you up. Quickly you feel worn out and used and uncertain as to what your next step is.
I have a lot going on in my life right now, a lot I can’t divulge or get into. Maybe one day God will allow me to tell the story of what I hope is redemption- but right now, it’s just a mess.
A big ole, sticky, gross, deeply wounded mess.
And as you probably can hear in the background, my child is crying and that is just reality for this podcast.
In the midst of all of that I am working on projects I haven’t touched in awhile, in pursuit of making a better life for our family. I know God called me into this work, making space for women in business who need help and someone to speak life over them. I know what my purpose is in that, but the how and the logistics are starting to feel really blurry. This podcast is feeling really blurry.
Most days I want to quit social media because it’s not going very well. But that’s also my flesh talking. I want to measure success by views and tangible impact and dollar signs and unfortunately that’s not how God always works. Sometimes He does and I believe with all of my heart that I will see that at some point. But for right now He has me in a place where I am supposed to be obedient. I am showing up week after week faithfully to talk about whatever He’s put on my heart to share and even when only a few people show up to sit with me, I'm here, even if they're not ready to talk yet.
This has brought stress and I am weary. I mean, how am I supposed to put all of this time in away from my friends and my family that is reaping nothing tangibly that will financially support us?
It sends me into a spiral of questioning and confusion and it leaves me asking:
“God, are you really there?”
“God, do you really care?”
“God, are you really providing?”
“God, did you mute my profile?”
“God, did you forget about the dreams you’ve given me?”
And then He does something to remind us that He’s still there- random money appearing in the mail that reminds me just how much I am provided for, beautiful little miracles that I see in my life, that again, I can’t share yet, even when it’s not in the way that I would hope it would be, God is faithful.
I am stubborn and prideful and sometimes I get wrapped up in a self image that is not true to what God is calling me into. Sometimes I want people to just care because it’s me- but that’s not why I’m here and I have to remind myself regularly that I’m not the star, I’m just the vessel. I’m not the light, I’m just the lantern that when God chooses to ignite that flame, I am there to let Him shine through me so that others may see the goodness of God and desire a relationship with Him too. Which is a miracle within itself, because He can shine just as bright- even brighter on His own but He wants and does use us.
But that doesn’t always make money. That’s not always pretty. That’s not always fun or feel sustainable. And that’s the key word: “feel”.
Now in the long run, it absolutely is- I’m running the marathon, not just around the block- but sometimes I get off my path and end up in circles for a bit, it’s human nature.
So what can we do when we’re in these seasons, these seasons where nothing feels right, where we question our humanity and purpose and everything that we know? What do we do so that we don’t make temporary confusion a permanent lifestyle?
I think the first thing you need to do is pray- actually, I know so.
Pray for a strong steady hand.
Pray for wisdom.
Pray for what you know God is going to do.
Pray for Him to be glorified.
Pray for this season to be a season that you sit in and for it to be a testament to God and for the strength to get through it.
Fast and pray.
All throughout the Bible we see instruction to fast and pray and sit with God and invite Him to fully nourish and sustain our every need. We see it as a time to clear our minds and invite Him to bring clarity.
I’ve never really done that until this week. If you’re listening to this episode it’s because God brought it to you because I certainly didn’t as I’m off social media this week- well next week, but this is when you’re listening to it. For personal health reasons I’m not doing a food fast but I am doing a social media fast this week. I did a week off in December and it was great but it wasn’t wildly intentional. This time though, it has been directly prompted by God. I felt like He was calling me to a fast in the beginning of January but I didn’t know what that was supposed to look like, I didn’t want to not eat, I didn’t want to go off socials since I had just gotten off them and because I was trying to build my business- but honestly I was being disobedient. He kept bringing scripture and I kept hearing people talk about fasting and praying and then He brought it all to a pinnacle moment when a creator I love, Meg (@meglivinginsideout), did a series of stories on Instagram about the process of fasting and praying and I felt deeply convicted that I was supposed to be doing something about this nudge I was feeling.
On the other hand I was praying for God to just make my posts reach more people and unlock whatever chain has been on my accounts literally holding my growth and hard obedient work that I’ve been doing for Him back. Like why God, I’m doing everything you’re asking, why won’t you break through this dumb algorithm and allow me to actually provide for my family? Why isn’t my hard work being rewarded? Is this a prayer that sounds familiar? Have you ever wondered why God just doesn’t seem to be budging?
Well, as I’ve got this going in one hand and the conviction to fast and pray in the other, it all sort of just clicked that I am still holding onto something social media wise and I need to let go of something and God needs to do some work in my heart to truly unlock His promise and plan for what He’s doing with me. In other words, I’m not being fully obedient and until I am, nothing is going to happen. I’m not going to lie, I cringed at first. Really God? You want me to stop posting right when I’m starting to get some momentum? Don’t you know the algorithm Lord? Which is hilarious to think about me saying that.
Then I started bargaining- even more hilarious, don’t we all do this?? I asked if I could just take a break from my Riley_quin account and keep working on further and free since I’m trying to build a business to make money for my family who is about to enter a really hard season that may take a toll on us financially. Also, building a business is hard and if I take even a mini break I feel like I’ll lose everything I’ve started building- can you hear the chaos in my head? And through that chaos I hear the Holy Spirit whisper - “Am I not bigger?” “Am I not still providing even when you don’t deserve it?” “Am I not greater than an algorithm that you are idolizing with an outcome that you are putting your trust in more than me?”. That stopped me dead in my tracks and I immediately made plans to go offline for the entire week. No Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok- nothing. Just me, my Bible and prayer. I feel permission to work on writing a bit for the book God had me start a few months back, but that’s it. I prepped next week’s content last week so this is a week of simply resting and sitting with God and repenting and hearing and learning how I can be more obedient- how I can get out of my own way- out of His way and instead fully be His servant. This is being recorded a week before it goes up, like I mentioned, so I will report back after my fast what I have learned and how God has worked because I have a hunch that it will not be uneventful. Or maybe it will be peacefully uneventful and I will be rejuvenated and nourished and I will show up in a different way that I didn’t even know I could to serve- we’ll see. You never know with God.
All of that to say, everything is a season. We don’t always understand it, but If it’s not happening now don’t dwell on it, refocus and realize it could happen in the future. We get so caught up in thinking that everything has to happen right now or it never will and then when it doesn’t happen in our timing we give up and walk away before God has even gotten started revealing Himself to us. This is one of my worst traits that Dustin has been calling me on lately. I give up so quickly because I am so afraid of rejection that I reject before I can be rejected and it means that I’ve probably missed a lot of moments with my Father because of it.
I want to remind you that God never said that He was going to lay it all out there- the plan, the purpose, the paths.
Yet for some reason we feel entitled to that information.
He said he has a plan.
He said he has a purpose.
He said he has a path.
He never said he’d tell you what they were.
We expect immediate answers the way we expect microwave popcorn. Quick & easy.
But what relationship is ever quick & easy?
Not a rich one.
Faith is walking even when you can’t see.
It’s continuing to move forward with hope even when you don’t understand.
I don’t always get why I’m going through what I am or why I’m in a dry season but I’ve seen God work. He will work & so I sit in that expectation that He will do what He says He’ll do because I believe with every part of me that He IS who He says He is.
He’s going to work because I’ve seen it before & I know I’ll see Him do it again.
So if you’re in a dry season, hold tight. The rain is coming. Get excited. God loves when we anticipate His arrival.
Romans 12:12: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer."
I want to end by reading you a passage of scripture from Ecclesiastes 3. I love this chapter in this book of wisdom. I don’t think I could end this in a better way than to remind you of how God works through seasons and how even if it’s not right now, it doesn’t mean that it never will be and if it doesn’t happen- or at least tangibly in our timing or in our presence- that doesn’t mean that God isn’t working, here and if you’re obedient, He will use you, you just may never see the results here on Earth. But results shouldn’t be our encouragement, God should be our everlasting strength and source of joy which keeps us going even through uncertainty and weariness.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-22
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account. And I saw something else under the sun: In the place of judgment—wickedness was there, in the place of justice—wickedness was there. I said to myself, “God will bring into judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time to judge every deed.” I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?” So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?
Thank you so much for listening in this week. DM me on Instagram @riley_quin or shoot me an email riley@rileyq.com and let me know what you’re going through and if there is a specific topic you want me to talk about and if I haven’t experienced it, I’ll find someone who has to come and chat with us. If you want to share your story, check out my website rileyq.com and under the “Connect” tab click “Tell your story” and submit it either for right here on the podcast or I can share it on Instagram- even anonymously! I just really want to get back to why I created this space, which is to share our experiences and our stories to find solidarity, even in the hardship because you’re not alone. Someone has always walked before you and someone is always walking beside you and behind you so we must share. We are not meant to live in isolation.
I’d love to have you on my monthly “Coffee Dates” email list, you can sign up on my website or click the link below in the show notes. You can follow me on Instagram @riley_quin and check out my new account @furtherandfree as I am relaunching my virtual assistant business to help women further their businesses and creative endeavors by taking tasks off their plates and freeing up their time to work on their God-given gifts! If you know of someone who is looking to hire a bit of help, please send them my way, it would mean the world. If you feel called to, please share with a woman who you know needs to be strengthened and encouraged. It would mean the world to me if you’d leave a podcast review on Apple podcasts and let me know your favorite part of this week’s episode. Thanks again & be sure to subscribe and we’ll meet back here next Wednesday for a new episode.
As always, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re wanted, needed and loved. I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you are enough.