Be Still
Welcome back to the Solidarity podcast
where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is, being a woman.
Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted.
Be still.
In a world full of chaos and slander, confusion and calamity, how are we to be.. still?
What is that really supposed to look like when we’re being chased and simultaneously yelled at to “go,go, go!”?
Go here. Do more. Care more. Be louder. Be faster. Be efficient. Be productive. Be everything that you are and everything that you are not.
Be vulnerable, but only when it’s convenient.
Be silent and start listening, but if you don’t speak- you must not care enough.
The hypocrisy is enough to make you lose your mind, but the expectations- those can break you.
Sometimes I wonder if God forgot what the world was going to be like in this century when He spoke the Bible into existence.
I mean there was a society with lots to do and learn back then, yes, but compared to now? We are just so connected to everybody at all times, it feels truly impossible to be still.
Or maybe it’s that it takes the same amount of effort, but it takes more intentionality. It’s hard to be intentional when everything is handed to you.
Notifications, reminders, beeping phones and buzzing pockets. Emails and voicemails, shared calendars and advertisements, it’s quite hard to forget everything and it makes intentionality a skill that one has to work on.
Our pastor spoke this weekend on what it means and looks like to simply “be” with God.
It’s not perfect, or pretty or necessarily convenient. But that’s what makes it special. Because in a world where we are constantly being sought out, we get to be the seeker. For a moment, or however much time we dedicate to intentional 1:1 solitude, we don’t have to hide or run from anyone because we’re too busy focusing on the task at hand. Praising, adoring, seeking, sitting. We get to listen and know that we aren’t going to say or do the wrong thing. We won’t be ridiculed. We won’t be made to feel like not enough once again because through Jesus we’ve already been redeemed.
If you’re like me you may understand that the thought of just being still can be panic invoking. I mean I get seriously anxious about the idea of having to do something like quiet time or pure solitude. I feel like my time and offering isn’t enough because I naturally get distracted. I worry about the things happening in my life and I get busy so quickly that what I meant for 20 minutes of quiet time turns into 2 minutes of prayer and 18 minutes of various voices screaming in my head to get up and do something, to tackle that mile-long to-do list and to attend to all of the needs of everyone around me before something bad happens.
I know that sounds strange, what could possibly be so bad? But it’s what fear and anxiety does, it makes you feel like you’re constantly on the verge of catastrophe. I think that’s why 2020 and 2021 have been so exceptionally bad for people like me because not only have we felt everyone else’s fear and anxiety, but we’ve been now programmed to constantly expect the worst out of every situation. To expect catastrophe around every corner. To be disappointed by people and every interaction.
I’ve always had slight social anxiety. It may not seem like that to those who know me because I generally carry myself as confident. In middle and high school I over exaggerated that and it definitely came off- and sometimes was- snobby. I didn’t intend for it to be that way but I was over compensating with how I presented myself so that I wouldn’t be neglected, abandoned or left out. Ironically, it still happened. But then as I got older and especially when I moved away, I thought that I could restart with a fresh identity where nobody knew me or my reputation. I could be kind and humble and carry myself with a graceful confidence. It worked for awhile but old habits die hard and loud insecurities just become louder when you’re alone with your thoughts.
I tell you all of this because friendships have never been easy for me. Social situations give me extreme anxiety and it’s not even just the anxiety when I’m in the situation- it’s usually fine once I get there and get warmed up- it’s all leading up to. And this is fresh in my mind because it’s literally something that happened this morning but I get so nervous about driving to the place that I’m going and how long I need to be there for and who I’m going to talk to and where I’m going to go. Most of the time it gets so bad that I cancel or just decide that it wasn’t worth it and I don’t go. But then I sit home and cry because I have few friends who truly know or care about me and I’m left feeling empty and worthless. I get mad at my anxiety and I get mad at my weakness and the spiral continues. I feel like a lot of ya’ll can probably relate to this because from the times I have been vulnerable and from the incessant release of our feelings online, I’ve seen this said over and over again. It’s a common human experience.
I envy those who can truly just be still in the waiting. In my experience it’s been with making friends and connecting with people since being here in Tennessee. I envy people that can just be still in the travel. On my way to this mom group this morning I was so anxious about who I was going to meet and who I was going to talk to and for some reason I just kept comparing myself to the women who were just so excited and peaceful to be going and connecting with people and yet there I was wanting it so bad, but I was so anxious going into it. I just wanted to be still in the travel. Be still in the arrival and the leaving and every part in between; connecting, talking, sharing and being vulnerable. And once I got there and I did it, it was fine and I was happy and God showed up and really reminded me of the promises that He had made to me and answering of prayers that I had even sometimes forgotten about. And how He just met me and met those longings and desires of my heart. But I still, at the end of that, I still envy those who can just rest and be still in those moments because there is nothing more that I want to do than to obey God and simply be still and know that He is in control- but yet most times I just can’t seem to get it right. It’s infuriating.
But I’ve recently been reminded of something and I want to remind you of it too because as I talked about last episode, we’re not just lamenting and staying in the mess, we’re going to get to the message because it does us no good to not get to the point, to the “why”, to the faith-building stuff. I think the hard forms the foundation of our faith, but seeking for the why and the message, that’s what truly builds it up.
So the reminder: having faith does not mean having it together.
In fact there is not really true faith if we do have it all together and feel like we have a handle on things. True faith comes when we realize that we absolutely do not have it and we still believe that we can get where we’re going and that God is going to show up.
Being still doesn’t always mean that we’ve earned the right to just be. It doesn’t mean we’e gotten all the tasks done and now we can rest. It’s sitting in the pile and rather than looking at the clutter and the rubble, it’s looking up, focusing our eyes on God and being like “hey, I don’t got this, so it’s all you” and then resting in the fact that that is enough. Striving to bring the praise back to God by acknowledging how He’s worked is super important but again it’s not from our strength- it’s all from His. Psalm 46:10 doesn’t just end with “Be still and know that I am God”, it ends with “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will exalted over the Earth.” He’s like babe, I’m going to be exalted either way because I’m God, so, believe it and sit with me while we do this together and I’m going to make your life so much easier to live, not because your circumstances are easy, but because I’m going to give you peace and guide your steps to where I want us to go.
I know the Christian life shouldn’t focus on good gifts and I’m not saying that you should do that, but when God says that He’s going to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11), boy does He mean that. And sometimes the waiting period is not fun. Anxiety inducing because of our runaway minds, but when you give it back to Him the waiting isn’t as bad because you’re distracted by His might. And then when the day finally comes that the prayer you’e been praying so fervently is answered, it’s a beautiful thing and then because you’ve waited so long, it’s so much sweeter and that praise for Him is so much greater. I know it’s hard to see it when you’re walking in it, but hindsight is so beautiful. So I definitely encourage you if you’re walking in the muck right now, to look back and see the way that God has worked in your life as a testament and reminder that He will continue to work and the wait will be so much easier if you fix your eyes on Him. And when you start to feel anxious again, re-fixing your eyes because I know this just as much as anyone else, when I’m anxious my eyes were definitely not fixed on the author and perfecter of our faith.
So stop beating yourself up if your faith doesn’t look pretty or seems like it’s not enough. Stop comparing your solitude and quiet time to everyone else’s. Your walk with God is yours and yours alone. You do not have to be anxious about doing things a certain way because if your eyes are fixed on Him, He’s got you and that is all that matters.
A few practical tips because I don’t want to leave you hanging with a bunch of fluff.
When you feel like you’re starting to lose it stop and pray this prayer (it’s one of my most used)
“God I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but I trust you, please give me peace as I walk through this. Guide me and show me what I am supposed to do next.”
I can’t explain to you the peace that rushes over me when I pray that and really mean it. And sometimes it takes a few times to calm down and truly breathe. But it helps a lot.
My second tip is to find worship music that can help you be brought back down to earth when the silence is just too much to bear. I’ve had some of my sweetest moments with God just listening to others worshipping even when I wasn’t strong enough to worship myself. A few of my favorites right now are CityAlight, Maverick City Music, Audrey Assad, Brandon Lake, Paul Zach and We The Kingdom.
And my third tip, because ya know, I work in three’s, is I have a go-to verse that you can repeat over and over again. Journal it- which journaling your prayers and going back to record when and how they were answered is an amazing practice as well, and totally helped me get through this struggle of “when will I make friends?” “when will I connect with people?” because I could go back and see when God had answered prayers similarly, and I knew He was going to answer those prayers even if it took a bit of time. But anyways, that was a bit of a tangent, but put those verses on your phone home screen, make it so well known that when you start to panic, it’s where your mind goes to. Satan wants you to panic and go to lies, but if you know truth like the the back of your hand, it’s going to come to the surface first. You think about what you know, so make sure to know scripture. Assign yourself time to get into it. This can look so many different ways, but it doesn’t have to look like sitting down everyday and reading and journaling and having your coffee and making it all pretty. You can listen to it, you can do a quick verse or chapter a day on your phone. You can sit down and read with someone over your lunch break or whatever it looks like, there’s podcasts. There’s apps that send reminders, you have so many different options. Just make sure you prioritize scripture because it shows when you don’t and I can tell you life is so much simpler when you do.
So, that’s all I have for you today. I encourage you that you are so loved and seen and known. And God knows that you’re trying and even if it doesn’t feel like you’re trying that hard at least you’re trying and you’re here and you’re listening. I hope that you’ll ask God to take whatever you heard today and to show you where you’re supposed to focus and maybe where you’re falling short in some of these areas and where He can help strengthen you and build you up and bring you back to a place of peace. Because I don’t, and I know God doesn’t want you sitting in this place of anxiety all the time because it is no way to live and I know that from experience.
Thank you so much for listening in this week, If you’d like to share your story, shoot me an email or DM. You can follow me on Instagram @riley_quin which is where I hang out the most. If you feel called to, please share with a woman who you know needs to be strengthened and encouraged. It would mean the world if you’d leave a podcast review on Apple podcasts and let me know your favorite part of the podcast. Thanks again & be sure to check back next Wednesday for a new episode!